patrickpants

once upon a time, there was a patrick. he said hello, and the world replied.
do you ever say hello?

sometimes I get lost in my thoughts and find myself in dark places. but then I remember that I have a magical cloud at my side, and he can do anything.

I turn 23 tomorrow. what did we learn from 22? let’s go over the lessons:

• never mix fresca and vodka. it may portmanteau to freska—not worth it.

• don’t give into peer pressure if it is pressure from a non-peer. remember the awkward night with “neverending story” and hamburger-helper-that-wasn’t-hamburger-helper-at-all? yeah. never again.

• be patient! stop crying over slow internet connections.

• stop “burning yourself with curling irons.”

• “taking things for granite.”

• don’t grab belt loops on the dance floor.
don’t let people grab your belt loops on the dance floor.
don’t let people grab your face on the dance floor.
don’t let people ask you awkward questions on the dance floor.
don’t drink and then go on the dance floor.
just don’t go on the dance floor.

• cuddling doesn’t mean cuddling.

• you are not a fan of the twilight series.

• don’t watch scary movies. you are not good at coping. really, it’s true. remember fright night? you got scared of the janky costuming!

• learn from your mistakes. don’t let them turn into regrets. regrets are just mistakes you didn’t learn from.

• keep doors open. if you keep them closed, things can get stuffy and smell bad. also this applies in a figurative way, I guess.

• people live… and people die…

once upon a time, there was a happy pen. his ink was red, and people took him seriously. dotting an exclamation, the pen exploded! and died. the end.

some people just can’t take a hint, and so you have to give them more.