patrickpants

today is friday!! merry halloween~everybody!

I’m going to be a lumberjack today. soon, we’ll be out and about, purchasing costume necessities and alcohol to make mixed drinks with. I’m making melon ball bounces!! the secret ingredient? the ice-tart-taste of sprite :^)

I’m such a geek.

anyway, for my lumberjack costume, I’ve been unable to get an accessory, be it an axe, a saw or a piece of wood. but my costume should be obvious enough, I mean, would I really ever wear a jacket like this?:

the answer is: yes. I probably would. off to the melon-ball-bounce preparations!

so here I am, sitting in wisconsin. it’s not bad, I must say. except there is a lot of comic sans… and even worse… chalkboard font. but hey, I’ll get over it because I can enjoy actual beer that’s not watered down by utah’s strange and absurd liquor laws.

but yes, I am here. in the future. those of you in utah are stuck living in the past. 10pm? psssh, been there done THAT.

there are no mountains here, so I get easily disoriented. but then I remember my boy scouts experiences and recall how to determine which direction is west and which direction is not. yes ma’am.

jessie is doing her chemisty homework. I am not doing any homework. I did all of my homework already, whilest traveling. traveling is pretty cool.

I really like flying, and enjoyed it a lot more than when I went flying before. it’s like you’re on the ground and then you go higher and then being above clouds is pretty awesome. I look at them and laugh because they remind me of cotton candy. clouds are cool. I wish I had a cloud as a pet. I’d take to school and make it rain on people I didn’t like and provide shade for those I did like. it would be a good time. I’d have to get some kind of leash though, so that I could walk it around campus, otherwise it would just float off into the sky.

the sky is chilly today, and I think i should have packed more than my vest. at least I have my awesome lumberjack costume. I’m gonna drink lots of beer!! mwahahahaha-ha.

anyway, I must be off to take out my contacts in the washroom two levels above… there aren’t co-ed washrooms on this floor… and this floor is an all girls floor.

problem is, I hear that the men’s washroom on the 4th floor is creepy. I’ll have to find out.

that’s right! I’m sloughing class~! don’t be jealous because I am living life on the edge, be jealous because you ain’t me. ha!

yep.

today is wednesday, which means that I begin my journeying to ouisconsin and bel-wah tomorrow. ohhh snaps! I get to fly a plane and jam jam reggae.

I’m excited.

I’m skipping class, but not skipping every class. I get to go to my creative writing class in a few, and discuss my creative writing piece! it’s a piece of experimental fiction, with quotes wrapped around random words, sporadic italicization and bold! bold fonts! but only sometimes.

there’s also one or two AIM convos in there. I hope to read them and mimic the characters. hopefully people will understand it, otherwise my subtle mimicking may have to be a hidden appreciation for later ponderment.

andrew wouldn’t like it though, since most of the pages are label as page 1. I wonder if I can ask people to turn to page 5? haha!

wow, I’m lame. but I hope people like it.

I never know.

for example, I got full credit on one of my creative dialogue exercises, but my teacher left the following cryptic critique:

I’m not sure what “you are strange” means, but I’ll take what I can get, especially if it comes with a 100%! bang da boom bang! and I’m shooting all around.

gatorade is pretty good
it’s lemon-lime moonlight.
sometimes I can wonder why
it is just like the moonlight.

memoriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies
all alone in the
mooooooooooooonliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

no, I am not on crack. I am just drinking gatorade. and by gatorade, I mean, of course, the ade of the florida gators. that is why it’s so popular, am I right? right? ne?

barf.

it’s not really good. I’d prefer vitamin water of gatorade. and I’d prefer vault over vitamin water. and I’d prefer water over vault.

point and case: water good. I could drink a gallon of it a day, if I were healthy. but I am not. I am a dragon. RAWR! eat my fire breathing hootinanny!!

dragons are pretty cool. they can like, breathe stuff and eat stuff. and there was that one movie, dragonheart, where there were a lot of commas, I think, in this sentence, and it’s a good thing, since you’re jealous, and it is necessary, like, you know what I, you know, mean?

wicka wicka wicka wick. candle wick. candlestick. it was in the candlestick! with the professor plum! and the conservatory committed it!!

damnit, now I want to play clue. but I am not good at clue. I try to be all veronica mars on that shit and fall flat thinking it’s ms. white. I mean c’mon, who wouldn’t suspect miss white? she’s all old and prunish. prudish. prunish. same thing.

also, what the fuck facebook:

at first, I didn’t know these ads were separate. really, the wording of the second ad makes it sound like “GAY WITH GENITAL WARTS? YOU WIN THIS $10,000 SCHOLARSHIP!” and I’m like “gross” because

1. ew,
2. who would want a scholarship for having genital warts? and
3. ew!
gross.

I kinda wish I had a counter that showed how many times I’ve said a word in my lifespan.

it would probably look like this

1. I
2. what
3. like
4. maybe
5. weird
6. uhm
7. yep
8. OK
9. pants
10. yeah
11. dancing
12. you
13. why
14. where
15. like

yeah, it would probably be like that.