patrickpants

hello everybody, I’m a jar of peanuts! Don’t you just think peanuts are the coolest? I sure do, because I’m made of them! (also glass or plastic, depending on which store you go to and your social class.)

Sometimes, I like to call myself “Mr. P” because it makes me feel like a special citizen… I guess that makes me nutty! It’s a funny joke because I am made of nuts. Peanuts.

I’m nuts for peanuts!
In a non-slogan kind of way. If I were to use that as my slogan, Sonny of the Cocoa Puffs would have my head. He really is cuckoo, you know. Be careful if you see him strolling around your apartment.

Trix rabbit is my pity friend. Nobody ever shared with him because they are racist and think that rabbits are lesser than them are. It is a sad fact, but it is true. That’s why he is my pity friend. I give him secret cereal in the night, but it’s the “fruity shapes puffs” generic brand, so he is never satisfied.

For sad, it seems.

for a limited time, you can buy a thousand of the limited edition yugi and kaiba structure decks for only seventy four cents at your local toys r us stores. hurry, merchandise is limited, so you must bring your smallest bill denominations to us for the save the whales and pandas foundation. with every nickel earned, a piece of a bamboo stick is sent to these wildlife preserves; feeding and filling our nation’s patriotic desire to thrust whatever must be needed upon the airballoon of justice we call pancakeatopia. that’s right folks, if you hurry and buy your pacakes, you get 1 free! only thirty seven hundred of these elusive shoyru’s left in stock, so don’t ask questions and just bust your buns to get here as soon as physically and logically and emotionally available as you can get to be it at there.

also, if you check your watch, you will notice that it is many hours since patrick has enjoyed his asleep. yes, many many hours of deprivation and lack of completed sleep are upon your dear est little pony. that’s wrong, he’s not really a pony, you’re a pony. and you know it. also, you can’t find it just by trying to solve the litebrite puzzle, you have to ask rainbow brite where the color is and then she will tell you to order the new 3d marker pens that have 2 different shades and come with a magical color changing marker pen and a detail pen too, even.

it is surprising how many ants there are underneath our feet. it sometimes feels as if the room is spinning when I have little sleep and I close my eyes while I am typing.

this is kinda like being on lortab that time I had my gallbladder removed and then everyone thought I was in surgery, but I just had to go to an appointment and then I went to class the next day and everyone was like “what is going on?” and I was like “I just had an appointment, it’s no big deal” and then the next day I had surgery and it hurt and now I think I should talk to the doctor because I still have a bruise where they took out my gallbladder.

sometimes, I like to drink soda when I sleep.